In Our Family, We Choose Children

E. T. Sullivan once wrote these interesting words: "When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies.” (quoted in The Treasure Chest, ed. Charles L. Wallis [1965], 53).

When my oldest daughter was four years old, someone questioned the wisdom of having our second child, soon to come, when we had so little money. My little one looked up in surprise and said "Mommy says you have to choose whether you want money or children. In our house, we choose children."

It's a matter of treasures really. "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Matthew 6:21). For some, the greatest treasures are those you can pay for: boats, cars, vacations, and designer clothing. Those treasures are much more easily afforded when they aren't part of a budget that includes diapers, toys, clothes and other expenses that come with the raising of little children.

There are others who might want a nice boat, but when faced with a choice, choose a nice child instead. A boat breaks down or becomes filled with dents. A child is a treasure for eternity. Not that children don't get a few dents, or need even more maintenance than a boat, but when the boat wears out, you have a pile of rust. When a child grows up, you have a treasure chest of memories and a family forever.

The moment a baby is placed in her parents' arms, the world changes, expands and brightens. A new baby changes all of history and the spectacular wonder of the baby is that we cannot yet tell how that will happen. We just know her presence matters and the world will never be the same because of her. Each day of her life, she will touch the hearts and lives of those she comes into contact with. She brings to the world unique gifts and talents and as we gaze into her eyes and into her heart, we wonder what they are and how they will be put to use. How can someone so tiny, so new, be so powerful?

But the power is without question. A parent who cradles a newborn baby knows this child has changed the family she enters. The first baby takes a parent outside herself and challenges her to create a universe of love, security and hope for her little one. The mother and father long to become the best their hearts of capable of becoming so they can nurture their baby and raise her in a home filled with love.

That longing does not diminish as more children join the family. Each new baby brings cherished dreams, precious longings and a need for the parents to become even better than before. The child who comes first enters a home of impossible optimism, and a faith that perfection is possible. The children who come later find parents who are more realistic. They have learned they cannot be perfect, however perfect their love. They know parenting is challenging and the choices are not as obvious as they seemed during the nine months of waiting for the first child. And so these children come to parents blessed with hard-earned wisdom, a sense of humor about the limitations of life, and an ever-increasing capacity for love. They know it will be the hardest work they've ever done. They also know it will be the most rewarding. Their lives will never be the same, and they would have it no other way.

In our family, we choose children.

President David O. McKay put it beautifully when he said, speaking of mothers, "This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God. In her high duty and service to humanity, endowing with immortality eternal spirits, she is co-partner with the Creator himself." (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 453-54.)