Why Reverence Matters

The Primary children sing that there is more to reverence than being quiet. Reverence is a feeling of love for our Savior. Too often, when we tell children to be reverent, we only want them to be quiet. If we taught them true reverence, we wouldn’t have to tell them to be quiet. They would be quiet without a reminder, because of the powerful feelings of spirit they would be experiencing.

Children behave for a variety of reasons, but most often, they behave to win the approval of adults or to stay out of trouble. Children can be trained in the mechanics of proper behavior in church, and should be. However, behavior is most powerful when it comes from within, and specifically from a feeling of deep love for their Father in Heaven and for the Savior.

There are three steps to helping children develop a feeling of true reverence, and the behaviors that will grow naturally from those feelings.

  1. The child must have a deep love for the Savior. This is best learned by example, and by conversations that help the child express love for the Savior. We can’t presume he knows he should love Jesus. We have to tell him often. Make sure there are pictures of the Savior in the home and the child’s bedroom, and that you share stories and thoughts often about the Savior’s ministry.
  1. The child must be taught to recognize the Spirit. Does your child know how to tell when he’s feeling the Holy Ghost in the room or in his heart? During spiritual moments, place your hand on your heart and tell your child you feel the spirit. Describe what you feel and what caused it. What events brought on the spiritual feeling? Ask your child to place his hand on his heart when he feels it as well. In Primary, we learn that the Spirit can communicate with us by giving us a warm, loving feeling in our hearts, through thoughts placed in our minds, or by a voice, although this last is rare. Help your children to recognize those means of communication.
  1. The child must be taught to value this feeling and to long for it. We can help this process by sharing our own testimony about how having the spirit with us helps us and gives us a sense of security and peace.
  1. The child must learn how to bring about these feelings. I use two stories from the Friend to help explain this: Marianne Wilson McKnight, “Jeremy John, the Wiggler,” Friend, Dec. 2000, 32. This story is about a small child who decides he can be reverent if he imagines Jesus sitting beside him. For older children, I use Marilyn Wood, “To Catch a Butterfly,” Friend, May 2001, 20. In this story, rowdy twins learn that you can’t catch reverence by running around and being silly. You have to sit quietly and wait. If you use this story, a butterfly necklace or pin can help a child remember what to do.