Welcoming Newcomers
As you are putting the final touches on your classroom, you glance around and see: a woman you’ve never seen before sitting alone in the back of the room, a man you know, but who has not been to church in five years, also sitting alone, and a woman you were told would be coming who is a non-member and sitting with her friend. How will you make them feel at home?
Members of the presidency should make an effort to become familiar with each person in the class. In addition, class members can be taught to notice those around them simply by asking them each week to greet newcomers. Each of the three people described above have come to your class for a variety of reasons, but the need for human contact is nearly always one of them. If they feel unwelcome, they may never return, or they may return, but feel alone and unwanted each time.
The first duty of members is to find out who the newcomer is and to be sure this person doesn’t sit alone. The second is to make sure the visitor returns if he lives in the area. I’ve noticed my Relief Society presidency go through the room each week, greeting class members and introducing themselves to those they do not know. As they ask the newcomers about themselves, others turn around and begin to greet them as well. The leaders should take the lead to make class members aware that someone new has arrived, or that someone needs extra attention. In addition, they might ask several students to assist in this process. Consider assigning two students to look for someone who is sitting alone. When students meet people, they have a sense that this is a warm place to be, and they will want to return.
One way to be sure no one sits alone is to limit the number of chairs placed in a classroom. When the gospel doctrine class ends and many students leave for other classes, our Relief Society presidency removes the first row of chairs. There are just enough chairs for the remaining students, so few people are sitting alone.
If the presidency spends a moment getting to know a newcomer, they can help a friendship get off to a good start. “You’re a writer? Did you know that Sister Matthews just published her first book? Let me bring her here to meet you.” Sister Matthews can then be asked to sit with the newcomer and told that they are both writers. Not only will someone have been brought into the newcomer’s world, but because they have something in common, they are more likely to get to know each other. People can be matched by interests, careers, age, and children, or even just because you think they’d like each other.
An inactive member who arrives requires special attention. There is a reason these members stopped coming to church, and as they return, they are watching to see if anything has changed. If they were hurt or neglected, it is important for them to feel wanted. They are often nervous that others will judge them for having been away, or for the lifestyle they are currently living. When members are friendly and welcoming, they feel reassured that they are going to be accepted. An inactive member will already have home teachers and, if they are women, visiting teachers. Someone should make an effort to be sure the home and visiting teachers know their special charge has returned to the fold so that these people can greet them and spend time with them. They should follow up this appearance with a visit the very next week to find out the person’s reaction to the return.
President Hinckley has said that each new member needs a friend, a job and spiritual nourishment. You certainly can’t assign a friend--no one wants to be a project--but you can help these people meet others so that friendships have a chance to develop.
As a class member, try to avoid sitting only with those you know. Look around the classroom and find someone you don’t know and then get up and move next to them. If you want to sit with your friend, bring your friend with you. People are flattered to know that someone wants to meet them, so say, “I thought you looked like someone I’d like to know. Do you mind if I sit here?”
It can be an added touch to ask if you can stop by for a visit, invite them to your home, or invite them to an upcoming function. You might even invite a few members to your home, and include the newcomer.
The ward is a family. Make sure the newest member of the family feels like a relative and not an intruder by offering friendship and companionship as soon as possible.
By Terrie Lynn Bittner