Helping With Homework
New scholars need Mom or Dad to stay right beside them while they do homework. Gradually, however, you should turn over the responsibility to your child, with a goal to help him become an independent learner. I'm not saying you should not be involved in your child's studies, but unless you intend to follow him into his college dorm and even go to work with him every day, it is time for him to learn to work independently and to take responsibility for his education.
If you have been extremely involved in your child's homework, you will have to back off gradually. Help your child figure out what steps are needed in order to successfully complete homework. Inexperienced or unmotivated students will need a set time. Others can be trusted to do it on their own. When you feel your child is ready to work independently, you can ask him to set a time for his homework, and to report to you when it is complete. You might also set a deadline: homework will be done before dinner. Until your child is working independently, however, you should set a time that is convenient for you.
The first thing an independent learner should be able to do is to set up his work environment. Tell your child to get ready to do his homework and you will join him in five minutes. When you arrive, check his preparations. If he has made none, you will have to do a little coaching. In the more severe cases, you may have to post a checklist the student can use. Ask some questions to help him learn to think about preparations:
Where should you do this homework?
Do you need the computer?
What textbooks do you need?
What do you plan to write with?
Work daily until you can simply say, "What do you need in order to complete the assignments?" Eventually, he should be able to gather the materials without prompting.
Be sure to minimize distractions. Turn off the telephone. (Put on the answering machine with the voice down.) Turn off television and music. If necessary, even put a Do Not Disturb sign on your front door. If you have younger children, find something quiet for them to do.
Don't read instructions for him. Begin by waiting to see if he reads them himself. (Many teachers read the instructions to the children to save time, so often, students have never learned to do this for themselves.) If he just sits there, staring blankly at the paper, gently prompt him. "You need to get started right now." If he says he doesn't know what to do, ask him how he could find out. (When he suggests reading directions, resist all impulse to say, "Duh!") Once he's read them, ask him if he understands what they say. If he doesn't, don't explain them. Instead, ask questions to help him figure out the words for himself. A simple instruction such as, "Answer the questions thoughtfully based on the reading" can overwhelm a student who has not yet been required to think. For one thing, the instructions are reversed. You must first read the story. Then you must think about it before answering the questions. Discuss the steps by asking questions. Your child should be learning to diagnose instructions on his own.
Once the instructions are clear, try to let your child do the work alone. Homework should involve work the student has already learned. It is meant to be reinforcement. Help if needed, but don't do the work for him. Gradually spend less time sitting with him. Get up and go to another room for five minutes. When you return, he should still be working quietly. Increase the time until he is working completely without assistance.
When your student has learned to do his homework alone, he can be given full responsibility for the work. He should select the time and the place for the work. You should look it over to be sure it was done, but it is his responsibility. If he forgets it, don't take it to him. If he forgets to do it, or is too busy, don't do it for him. This is his job. When you do his work for him, you hurt his future, since he will never learn to be responsible for his own life.
Be sure to keep in touch with teachers. Let them know that you want to be notified if a student falls behind in his homework, or is having trouble in school. If this occurs, you may have to back up and begin supervising again.
Remember, homework is training for college and for a career. Don't stand in the way.