Bedtime Rituals
Getting little ones to bed is one of the great challenges of parenting, and it's made especially difficult by the fact that it must be done at night, when you are already exhausted and very tired of being a parent. Following are some suggestions for getting children to go to sleep so you can spend a few hours as an adult.
1. Have a set bedtime and ritual that you use as often as possible. This helps children get sleepy on command (on good nights.) We had a countdown to bedtime routine. We did a series of activities, each progressively quieter than the last. Starting with a romp outside, and then a bath and pajamas, we moved from family games to quiet talk to stories in the living room and stories in bed. By the time we got to poetry, their eyes were closing, at least on the good days. Then we put on classical music and left them alone. Naturally this didn't always work. I often found them giggling long after bedtime. Eventually however, they were like Pavlov's dogs and the sound of classical music made them fall asleep. (They still can't go to the symphony for that very reason, so you might want to skip the classical music.) The idea, though is to use progressively quieter activities that calm them down. By using the same activities each night, they become conditioned to getting sleepier at certain points.
2. Read or sleep. I made my children go to bed at the ridiculous hour of seven even after they outgrew the countdown. Because I had to be up at four in the morning, I just wasn't a good parent after that hour. Since I knew they often weren't sleepy then, I gave them the choice: they could read or sleep, but they had to stay in bed and be quiet, so Mommy could turn into a wife instead of a mother. They always chose books (do you know any child who will pass up an excuse to stay up late?) They still love to read at bedtime.
3. Use gimmicks to get them into their rooms. For me, one of the worst struggles was actually getting them into their bedrooms. Once they were there, story time got them into bed. We made a game of getting from the living room to the bedroom. One night we might hop, another we might crawl. Sometimes we imitated a shy bunny sneaking off to its hole or a little fish swimming home. After doing this for quite a while, I could ask, "How should we get you to your beds tonight?" I never, ever asked if they wanted to go to bed. I already knew the answer to that question.
4. Read grown-up books or chapter books. You might be surprised by how soon you can read chapter books to a young child. I began reading them to my oldest when she was younger than two. The others, four and five years younger than she, heard them all their lives. I'm sure they didn't really listen at first. They simply got bored and fell asleep. Little by little, however, they began to listen and somewhere in the process, they began understanding. In the meantime, chapter books without pictures are boring, so the children are more likely to fall asleep. If that still doesn't work, read something of yours. I read through several history and science books putting cranky children to sleep.
5. Spirituality is calming. Use a spiritual routine that helps children prepare for their prayer. Soft church music, a quiet conversation about blessings and a discussion of what can be said in prayer help prepare a child to pray reverently. Reverence is peaceful and that is a good mood for bedtime.